WINTER
RESPONSE 2001 ISSUE
The gift of being able to reach
out to others because of our own life experiences
President's
Message
"To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dear Friends:
During my 12 years serving LSS as its President and CEO, I have learned to know some high-profile servants, people who are a tremendous inspiration to others because of their Christ-like service to others.
I think of people such as Father
Boxleitner, past president of Catholic Charities. Or Joe Selvaggio, who has been an unwavering supporter of the Phillips Neighborhood and its residents in Minneapolis. Or Pastor John
Sippola, whose name is associated immediately with helping homeless teens in Duluth. These are people who inspire us all by the example they set as we read about them in our local newspapers.
During those same years, I have been privileged to become acquainted with many, many more people who are going about their work without much attention. Some of these people display a special kind of heroism because of the battles they fight each day - for themselves or for others. There are also those who serve quietly and consistently, finding their own joy and satisfaction in the knowledge that they have helped others.
These people are found wherever you find LSS in our state, in all of Minnesota's 87 counties. They are our volunteers, our clients, our donors, our supporters and our staff. To all those who, each day, focus on helping others throughout the LSS network, this issue of Response Magazine is dedicated. They are the giants. They are unsung heroes. They are the core of
LSS.
I trust that you will enjoy meeting these people in this publication. And I hope that you will be as awed by their efforts and their stories as I am.
Thank you for joining LSS in this mission of service.
Sincerely,
Mark A. Peterson
President/CEO
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Everyday Heroes
Quietly serving others in the community…
Every Monday morning, Alfred Lahti rolls up his sleeves for a few hours and puts his accounting skills to work reconciling monthly bank statements for 115 vulnerable people who are in the care of LSS Guardianship Services.
When tax time arrives, the 81-year-old retired accountant and business owner from Mankato will prepare income tax returns for them as well.
Working with numbers - something he loves - and helping others at the same time is a double reward, he says. "What would be the value of all this experience if I were to sit at home and let it go to waste!" Lahti said.
His service is rooted in his mother's example. "If neighbors had problems or troubles, she was there to help," Lahti explained.
Now he puts his heart into service and his talents to work, not only at LSS but, for many others around town as well - serving as treasurer for a local library foundation, and delivering meals on wheels with his wife,
Eleanore.
"To me, this is a great opportunity to fulfill a need for someone, and it keeps me busy, too!"
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A Changed Life Changes Lives
When Margaret Clark saw Richie, a teen-age neighbor boy, crying on the roadside near her rural Benton County home, she knew the pain ran deeply for this boy. Margaret knew the family and, while she did not have all the details of his troubled home life, she could imagine.
You see, Margaret Clark knows what it is to be unloved, unwanted and abused. And when she sees kids who are hurting, she knows the pain firsthand. "It's hard to understand abuse unless you've gone through it," she explained.
Margaret came from a big family. She recalls that her mother favored half of the children, and disliked the other half. When Margaret's father died, her mother took out her grief on all of the children. Then her mother remarried. But the abuse continued.
At age 16, Margaret could no longer withstand the abuse and left home. This would turn out to be her first big break. The foster parents who cared for her from age 16 to 18 showed her, for the first time, what it was like to experience loving parents and a stable home.
That experience gave her the example she needed. Now, she knew what a loving family was. It would mean so much for the future. Little did she know, then, that one day she would be a positive role model, not only to her own children but, to 13 foster children as well.
Along with raising her own children, Margaret has been caring for foster children for several years -- first for Benton County, and now for LSS. A few years ago, she saw an advertisement in the local newspaper for foster care through LSS in the St. Cloud area. While she did not act immediately, she felt the need to offer help again. Seeing Richie crying on the road that day reminded her of the advertisement. With her husband Jay's encouragement, she called LSS to offer help.
Darlene Wetterson, LSS' home licensing administrator, said that homes like the Clark's are usually successful in foster parenting. "The Clarks provide a strong, stable home. They are non-judgmental about the boys for whom they care, yet they do have a firm approach;" Wetterson said, "It's exactly what these teen-age boys need."
Margaret thinks it is not productive to be concerned about how kids dress or wear their hair, as long as they don't get hurt.
"I don't make a big deal out of it if a boy has blue hair, nose rings or earrings," she said. "I think there's too much harping on the kids for their styles." Margaret says that most kids are basically good, and they just need a chance to show it.
Foster parenting is interesting, challenging work, Margaret added. "Being a foster parent is like taking a lot of trips without leaving home," is how she characterizes the experience.
When asked what she and her husband get out of it, Margaret replied, "It's always been a comfort to have the kids return their love in their own ways."
The kids she has chosen to help seem to respond because they know that Margaret has had experiences like theirs.
So, what about Richie? After the Clarks were re-licensed, their first assignment was Richie. The match was a successful one. In fact, the Clarks threw a party to celebrate Richie's finishing his senior year of high school. And he's still living with them as he continues his education.
"Being foster parents gives us a chance to help out boys who have been through a lot, and who need someone to believe in them," Margaret concluded. Margaret Clark looks at it as giving Richie what she got from her own set of foster parents.
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Dealing with Depression
We all have days when we feel "blue." Holiday times can bring about this feeling and even trigger a more prolonged period when we feel down. Such feelings may signal that we are sinking into a depression. Consider these warning signs:
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Feeling helpless and hopeless
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Finding it difficult to function in daily routines
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Depending on chemicals such as sleeping pills, tranquilizers, or alcohol to keep going
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Feeling a lack of self-esteem
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Experiencing significant sleeping or eating changes
Depression is a condition that is treatable. For more information or to seek help for yourself or someone you know, call an LSS counseling office in your community, or visit our web site at
www.lssmn.org and click on publications.
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Choosing life
At age 36, Jody Servin could no longer ignore the rage and pain fueling her depression. As Jody puts it, she was "dying in a living body," and there were moments she considered suicide as a way to end the pain.
The tense and explosive situation within her family finally triggered a referral to LSS counselor Linda Miller, in 1996, for marriage counseling. Jody and her husband completed six sessions when Jody realized that her own anger was playing a role in their marital problems. She began intensive therapy to deal with longstanding pain from a childhood of rejection following her parents' divorce, incidents of sexual abuse by a relative, and a teenage rape.
Through counseling, Jody started coming to terms with her painful past. She was able to visit her mother before her death, to work on forgiveness and begin healing. Close to the father who raised her, Jody stepped in to care for him in her home, before his death. Throughout this time, her counselor was there to help. "Linda cried with me, cared about me, and encouraged me to set goals," explains Jody.
These goals began with her education, and Jody graduated this year from the College of St. Catherine with a social work degree. She is now enrolled in a graduate program in social work, with plans to graduate in 2002. "I have learned that people can reverse dysfunctional patterns. I want to help others realize they can learn, and grow and change."
Another goal is to provide a healthy family life for Jody, her husband and their two children. "Now that I am well, I am there for them. It is so difficult to focus on others when you are ill, and depression is an illness. Now I am alive, and want to be a part of their lives."
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A prophecy of love and hope fulfilled
Childish laughter floats throughout Jeff and Susan Smith's Brooklyn Center home. Three new kittens, adopted from the shelter, scamper around amidst the people who fill this house with love. In addition to Jeff and Susan, their home includes six children (three adopted children with special needs, a foster child and two biological children), four to five nurses and the occasional personal care attendant.
Susan's teenage experiences working with children with disabilities inspired a pledge to build her own family to include such children. She hoped to help her children remain connected to their birth families. She shared these plans with Jeff on their first date, and they have dedicated their lives to their belief that all children deserve a loving family.
Through the help of Lutheran Social Service, three-year-old Ashlyn joined the Smith family when she was just seven months old. Born with CHARGE Syndrome, Ashlyn had life-threatening health issues that were not being addressed. Her biological family contacted the Smiths after receiving their name from a doctor who works with the Smith's 12-year-old son, who also has CHARGE Syndrome.
Ashlyn's biological parents knew Ashlyn required a home that could meet her medical needs but they desperately wanted to remain connected to her. While she is deaf and blind, and requires a feeding tube to eat and a tracheal tube to breathe, she remains a fairly typical toddler. Despite her severe physical disabilities, she is learning sign language and beginning to walk. She loves dressing up with her sisters, playing with her baby dolls, and looking at books in Braille.
In addition to Ashlyn, the Smith's children include Hermena, Kevin, Djeneva, Charlotte and Hannah. Their oldest daughter, Sonja, is living in South Dakota.
"With every milestone reached, our kids remind us we need to believe in their ability to succeed," says Susan. "We believe that when children are given the support they need, their ability to achieve is miraculous."
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Courageous friends live life to the fullest
Rain or shine, every day is almost always a magnificent day for Spring Reisner.
Her day begins at 5:30 a.m. when she rises for stretching exercises, an audio-taped devotional, and breakfast. After work at an assembly plant and, maybe, bowling with friends, she often returns home, saying: "I had a wonderful day!"
It's that upbeat attitude that boosts the spirits of everyone around her, including her friends at church where she can occasionally be heard reading the Sunday morning liturgy.
None of these events seem the least bit out of the ordinary for Spring - even though she is blind and semi-paralyzed on one side. She radiates confidence, and doesn't let her disability get in the way of all the fun that life has to offer.
When Spring was just two years old, she fell and experienced serious trauma to her head, which resulted in her disability.
"Some people might be resentful, but not Spring," explained Mary Haugen of LSS, who supervises the quaint, two-story home that Spring and three others with disabilities share near the bluffs of Red Wing. "She is so happy in her life, and lives each day to the fullest."
Spring was raised by caring grandparents and attended a special school for the blind in Faribault, where she participated on the swim team and in many other sports. She loves to read books, magazines, and four large volumes containing the books of the Bible - all written in Braille.
She learned how to be independent early on, explains her grandmother, Donna. "Even when she was four years old, she would make sure that she put all her toys back exactly where they belonged every time - without any prompting from us - so that she could find them again," she said. "That always amazed me."
When Spring ventured out on her own in 1995, she met her roommate Ellie, who had also taken a giant leap of faith to live independently. The two 19-year-olds bonded instantly and now conquer the world together.
"We're best friends," says Spring. "She'll help me up and down the stairs - something I can't do alone. Or, if I go to the community education center, she'll help me get around. Sometimes, I'll water her plants if she forgets."
Ellie, who is moderately developmentally delayed, also goes about her life with optimism and determination. She has a job, bagging groceries at the local grocery store in town, about a mile from her house, and often walks there on her own.
"She has always had a strong desire to accomplish things for herself," said her mother, Ardis. "When she was younger, she would tease her brother by saying, 'I'm going to have a job and a place of my own before you.' She did, and he's older!"
But some days take more courage than others.
"There are days when she will come home and say, 'Somebody wasn't nice to me today because of the person I am,'" explains Haugen. "But she knows she's a good person with good friends and a nice family, and she doesn't let negative experiences get her down."
Now 25-year-olds, the two young friends are starting to explore their independence more fully. Ellie takes trips to the mall to shop by herself for a few hours. Spring likes to attend concerts. Both spend time alone at home.
Working hard to become independent has brought immeasurable rewards to their lives. About their home, Ellie says, "I like it here very much."
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The Bluffs SLS
Spring and Ellie live in a home that offers support from trained LSS staff who work with individuals with disabilities to help foster their independence and ability to achieve their own personal goals. Each of these homes serves three to four people.
Being involved within the community, learning how to make good decisions, and developing specific skills are among the many goals for these individuals. All of these important factors work together to help persons with disabilities establish community and live as independently as possible with optimal personal choice.
In 70 different communities throughout Minnesota, LSS uses this model to serve 300 people with disabilities.
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Outfitting the needs of homeless teens …
An apartment complex is currently being renovated by LSS in St. Paul's Midway area to serve homeless teens. When the program opens next spring, there will be 12 small apartments for these youth, along with counseling support and skills training.
In all the planning and excitement, though, there was one major concern. How would LSS staff possibly outfit all of these apartments? Enter Becker Furniture World, a major furniture retailer. The Becker Furniture World Foundation has donated all of the furnishings.
"We are simply awed by their generosity," said the Rev. Alan Loose, director of Church Relations. "When we arrived at their showroom, they made wonderful suggestions about the furniture that would fit space constraints in efficiency apartments, but essentially said, 'pick out what you would like!'"
"What we have found is that people are highly motivated to develop independence when they receive help with employment or counseling support," explained Deena Monk Kobow, director of the Becker Furniture World Foundations. "But if they come home to an empty apartment with no furniture to sit on, or no bed on which to lay their head, their motivation goes downhill very fast. That's where we come in. We like to think that we keep people going!"
"I'm amazed that there are so many homeless kids in our communities," added Monk-Kobow. "I don't think our society realizes that the problem is so severe."
Helping people to succeed is the underlying philosophy behind Becker Furniture World community outreach programs. "When a child or an adult succeeds, it helps everybody in the long run," said Monk-Kobow.
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Dare to Dream!
It was an inspiring, thought-provoking and motivational day for 230 women who gathered for the second Women in Philanthropy Conference, sponsored by Lutheran Social Service on October 20 at the Minneapolis Convention Center.
Keynote speaker Abigail Disney, grandniece of Walt, shared 16 guidelines for giving. At the luncheon, Nell Merlino, founder of Take Our Daughters To Work Day, pointed out that even small gifts, when grouped together, can have far-reaching effects on people's lives.
Twenty-four workshop presenters - all leaders in their field - also delivered dynamic presentations on impact giving, giving circles, philanthropy and children, faith-based giving and more.
For a new, comprehensive resource on charitable giving tools, check out the Minnesota Toolkit for Giving at
www.minnesotagiving.org
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Expressions of Caring
Tribute Gifts
These people have been honored by loving friends or relatives on the occasion of a special time in their lives.
In Honor of Jackie & Arvid Anderson's Wedding Anniversary
Justin Vaughn Arthur's Baptism
The 10th Anniversary of Adam Bibbs' Adoption
Ted & Jan Carlson's Wedding Anniversary
Rev. Russell Helgeson's Birthday
Pierson Kirk
Pastor & Mrs. Eldon Landvik's Wedding Anniversary
Kevin Miller & Sherri Larson's Wedding
Linda McEwen
Marian Miller
BoisSan Moore
William Nord
Maggie Peterson's Birthday
Randy Ritterman
Adam Williams
The Parents of Michael & Jane Wipf
Memorials
Loving gifts in memory of the following people will help LSS reach out to others.
Elaine Anderson
Alma Bauer
Mal Berg
Harvey Belgard
Harold Breyell
Donald Briest
Harvey Digerness
Margaret Engebretson
Don Fellows
Gladys Fortney
Carlisle Gunderson
Esther W. Grose
Lloyd Haas
Rena Hale
Rosalyn Hansen
Helen Hertogs
Margaret Marie Hodges
Selma Holter
Walter Johnson
Russell Korlin
F. Lorraine Larson
Robert W. Lund
Paul Lundby
Herman Maanum
Robert Manville
Charlesetta Moe
Robert Moore
Margaret O'Brien
Chester Oleson
Evelyn Olson
Dale Patterson
Walter Penkert
Alice Peterson
Karen A. Peterson
John Prokosch
Dorothea Rademacher
Angela Ritt
Genevieve Rost
Clifford Roue
Ella Sames
Evelyn Sandro
Raymond Sponberg
Nina Sternberg
Lillian Swanson
Evelyn Taylor
Lawerence Themmes
Mabel Thorin
Anthony Tschida
Terry Venem
Lauretta Emilie Wallin
Erling Weiberg
Estate Gifts
These dear friends who recently went to their eternal rest with Christ remembered LSS in their estate planning. Please join us in remembering them in our prayers.
Ruth E. Graf
Marie E. Johnson
Linda S. Larson
Leota Michel
These Tribute / Memorial and Estate gifts are for the period August 1 through November 1, 2000.
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Survey Results
We asked …
you responded!
Earlier this year, we sent 3,000 readers a survey asking them to tell us what they want to read about in Response, why they support LSS, and what they think are the most important social concerns in our community.
Here's what we learned:
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Stories that demonstrate how LSS services help people change their lives are important to highlight
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Family dysfunction, child abuse and troubled kids are major concerns in our society
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Many donors give to LSS because their faith calls them to give, and because they want to return some of their good fortune to help others
We are taking your comments to heart, and will be making some changes. Beginning with the next issue, "Changing Lives" will be the new name for this newsletter. Watch for a new look, too!
Thank you for your continued support!
If you do not wish to receive Response, please call our office at 800-987-0034 or email
Jackie.Nelson@lssmn.org
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Tree of Sharing spreads Christmas joy to needy families
In downtown Minneapolis, a 40-foot decorated Christmas tree the height of a four-story building, is spotlighting LSS Sponsor A Family through a special Tree of Sharing project - a financial matching program of Lutheran
Brotherhood!
Each year, LSS Sponsor A Family - a project of the LSS Auxiliary - links needy families in the Twin Cities with individuals, churches and companies who purchase gifts for those families.
Lutheran Brotherhood's Tree of Sharing features 1,000 stars to represent the 1,000 families LSS hopes to reach this year through a financial matching program.
The Lutheran Brotherhood Foundation will match contributions up to $100, for a total of $25,000 that will provide funding for needy families who need help paying for:
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Groceries
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Bus passes
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Utility costs
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Child care costs
If you would like to participate, find out more by calling 651/969-2335.
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