Grandparents: Becoming
a
parent again
What do Sir Isaac Newton,
Carol Burnett, and Oksana Baiul have in common?
All were raised by their grandparents.
When parents are unable to
take on the responsibility of raising their children,
grandparents often step forward. Such scenarios are on the rise.
According to the Census
Bureau, the number of children living with their grandparents grew by more
than 100% over the past decade. Nearly 50,000 children in Minnesota live
with their grandparents, representing one in 12 children.
The four "D's" are the primary
culprits: Drugs, death, divorce and desertion. Experts say that drug
addiction tops the list of reasons why parents are unable to fulfill their
duties.
Barb Cook, a financial
accounting employee of a Minnetonka-based company, knows the story all too
well. Barb said that she took in a grandchild seven years ago to keep him
safe from a drug environment at his mother's home. This fall, Barb stepped
up, again, to care for two other grandchildren from another daughter.
While there are lots of
emotions involved, love for their grandchildren is the primary motivator
for grandparents who step in to parent, again, said Connie Booth, program
manager for the LSS Grandparents Raising Grandchildren program. "These
grandparents are willing to sacrifice their own freedom and resources.
There is no financial gain for them. They dig deep into their own pockets
to care for these kids."
In the greater Twin Cities
area, Lutheran Social Service is serving a record number of grandparents
and grandchildren. More than 800 people have sought support from LSS this
year, with 1,500 people served since the program began in the 1990s.
Through the program, LSS
offers individual consultation, support groups, educational forums and
fall and spring retreats for grandparents. Helpful information about
handling custody issues, financial concerns, and emotional issues is all
offered.
Teens benefit from a special
group designed just for them. Younger children also gain support from play
groups. "The play group helps to connect kids with other kids who are in
the same situation, which normalizes their experience so they don't feel
like they are the only ones. It's therapeutic, even though we're just
letting them play."
Such services have been a
lifesaver for Barb. "They really help you out a lot. Grandparents learn
what resources are available, how to get custody of the kids and receive
counseling for the kids, too.
"It wasn't easy," Barb says of
becoming a parent again. "You have to do a lot of changing. It seems that
I never have enough time. But we're getting our schedules together and
we're doing okay. They love their grandma, and I love them. That's the
most important thing."
