Family Found After 60 Years
Before the 1970s, it was not
uncommon for a person born with developmental disabilities to be separated
from their family and institutionalized. Contact with family became rare
for some people. Some families lost contact completely with their
developmentally disabled family member. Donald Perske was
institutionalized in the 1930s, and has survived over 50 years of
institutional living. Having very little family contact during his life,
it was not until 2001 that Donald was united with a family member whom he
never met previously.
Donald was born at his home in
the mid-1930s, in a small town in North Dakota. Since there is no official
record of his birth, his exact age and the disabilities he was born with
are unknown. Donald's family was unable to care for him, as a very small
child, and he was admitted to Faribault State Hospital in Faribault,
Minn., where he lived for 15 years. He was then transferred to another
institution in Brainerd, Minn., and then, in 1971, he was admitted to the
State Hospital in Fergus Falls, Minn. He lived there until he moved, in
1996, to a four-person LSS Supported Living Services site in Fergus Falls.
Through the years, Donald had
almost no family contact except for an aunt who would send cards and call
on occasion. Both of his parents had passed away many years ago, and LSS
had no contact numbers or addresses for siblings. Since Donald would talk
about his aunt quite frequently, staff decided he was not happy about his
lack of family contact.
Staff who worked with Donald
tried to locate missing family members, and they soon found that a sister
lived in the Minneapolis area. After leaving a message, LSS received a
return phone call almost immediately. She was thrilled to hear that her
"big brother" was in good health, and she was eager to set up a time to
meet. We set up a day for them to meet for the first time, at her house,
later that month. As the day grew nearer, Donald was getting very anxious.
He rarely went an hour without talking about his sister.
In August of 2001, he made the
trip to finally see his sister. Staff helped him get ready and they headed
south for Minneapolis. Donald and the staff who accompanied him were very
nervous.
"We pulled into her driveway,
got out of the van and waited. Donald's sister came around the corner, and
we couldn't believe the striking resemblance," said Luann Miller, who
supervises Donald's SLS in Fergus Falls. "She immediately had tears in her
eyes when she saw Donald. We all did. She couldn't get over how good he
looked, and how much he looked like their other two brothers. We sat
outside and listened to many stories Donald's sister shared, and she cried
when talking about Donald's history in the institutions. And she was
thrilled that Donald was now living in a home of his own, with the ability
to live his life with choices."
It turns out that there are
many things that Donald and his sister have in common. They both enjoy
being outside in the sun, and they both thoroughly love listening to
birds. She brought her birds outside in their cage so Donald could listen
to them sing during the visit. There were more tears as goodbyes were
said. They promised to stay in touch, and talked about a possible reunion
with all four of the siblings.
The look on Donald's face after the visit really showed that he had
experienced a lifetime dream. He was sad that the weekend was over, but
clearly happy over the experiences he had. Under the more restrictive
settings and treatment philosophies of the institutions he had spent so
much time in, such a visit would not have been possible.
At 68 years old, Donald has
blossomed into a funny, huggable "teddy-bear" type of person, who loves
people, loves life, and everything it has to offer. He continues to
struggle with ongoing health issues, but, through it all, his lovble
personality prevails. Hopefully, his family can now be part of his new
life as well.
