Amazing Love
Children in foster care have
been through the worst in life. Todd and Chris Purvis have seen it all, as
Lutheran Social Service foster parents.
Young kids arrive with
physical scars, burn marks, feelings of abandonment, fetal alcohol
syndrome, and lots of emotional scars that are hidden from view.
"How is any of that fair to a
child?" asks Todd, who is the school police officer in Blue Earth, Minn.
With a special love for
children, the Purvises signed up to be foster parents 11 years ago, after
a social worker had suggested that they consider the idea. Not even cancer
(for both Todd and Chris) could keep them from doing a job that they
consider a calling.
Chris was struck with ovarian
cancer seven years ago, at age 30. Just two years later, Todd developed
testicular cancer, at age 32. "We're the safest family around in terms of
serious illness because we have all that out of the way now," Todd Jokes.
Chris said that foster
parenting helped her get through chemotherapy treatments and feelings of
uncertainty about the future. "God placed two children in our home when I
was finishing chemotherapy," she said. "These kids gave me a purpose and
something to keep me on track."
Thirty children have received
nurturing care and support from the Purvis family through short-term
respite care and longer-term foster care. Church friends at Trinity
Lutheran in Blue Earth wonder just how many kids Todd and Chris will show
up with, on any given Sunday morning!
Some children stay for a few
days, while others have stayed for several years. Two of them, Brandon and
Eric, were adopted and stayed for good.
"Our two older children asked
us if we were going to adopt Brandon and Eric because they had been with
us for such a long time," Chris said. "Our daughter said, 'We're the only
family they have!'"
The Purvises are also in the
process of adopting a third child who has been with them in foster care.
With two biological children, that would bring the number of children in
the family to five. "I always wanted a big family!" Chris said. "It's hard
when foster children leave. They become such a part of your family."
Being a foster parent is not
easy, and it's definitely not for everyone. Kids generally need therapy
and ongoing special education services. The Purvises drive to Albert Lea,
Fairmont, and Mankato each week to get kids to their therapy appointments,
amid all of the other sports activities and homework assignments.
They soak in the support they
receive Lutheran Social Service's Treatment Foster Care Program.
Counselors offer round-the-clock support, education, training, and monthly
support meetings with other foster parents. "We're not afraid to seek
extra support," Chris said. "I do the best job I can, but I'm not a
therapist. You need trained professionals to help you through some of
these issues with kids." Chris says that she also gets a break from the
mental and emotional energy required in foster parenting by working in the
school cafeteria.
While Chris said that she
wouldn't take in older teens, she and Todd provided respite care to one
14-year-old boy who has been with them for three years.
"The other day, he had made a
cake for us from scratch that read, 'Thank you for loving me' on it. Being
a foster parent is the hardest job I've ever done, but it's definitely the
most rewarding. I love trying to make a difference in a child's life."
For more information about
becoming a foster parent, visit
www.fostercaremn.org
