Do You Want To
Help Your Teen Avoid Sex? - Read On...
What do you think is the
most important influence in your teenager's decisions about sex and early
sexual activity?
According to Child Trends, a
research organization based in Washington D.C., studies consistently find
that parents are a critical influence in the lives of their children. In
various studies, good parent-child relationships are linked often to
mental, social and emotional well-being in young people.
That should come as good
news to parents, who may not think they have significant influence in
their teenager's lives when it comes to decision-making around sexuality,
with competing influences from peers and the media.
"Having a good connection
with your teen may be the best defense against teen sexual activity,"
explained Ellen Zaeske, clinical director for Counseling Services at
Lutheran Social Service.
Zaeske says that, while parents may feel squeamish about discussing such a
sensitive topic with their teen, kids need to know where their parents
stand.
"Children have a deep
connection with their parents, and what they say about their values really
matters," Zaeske says. "While what you say about the mechanics of
sexuality is important, expressing your values on the issue is even more
important."
Along with teen pregnancy,
an increase in sexually-transmitted diseases in Minnesota is another worry
for parents to consider. According to the Minnesota Department of Health,
sexually-transmitted diseases rose 19% in 2002, followed by a 6% increase
in 2003. Moreover, teens and young adults are at greatest risk for
diseases such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. Left untreated,
chlamydia and gonorrhea can cause infertility. Untreated syphilis can lead
to blindness, brain damage, heart problems and even death.
Sexually-transmitted diseases, in general, can also increase the risk of
becoming infected with HIV and spreading it to others, and increase the
risk of cervical cancer among women.
To help your teen make good
decisions and avoid early sexual activity, Zaeske offers these tips for
parents:
Be present: Make it a
point to be with your child before and after school, at mealtimes and
bedtimes. These are great opportunities to connect with your child. Devote
at least a few hours a week to your child, without interruptions.
Listen well: Kids
need a sounding board during their teen years, which can be fraught with
complex and emotional issues. Parents can be there for their teen by not
being judgmental, being a good listener, and supporting them in making
wise decisions.
Share your values:
Let your teen know that you disapprove of early sexual activity. If you
believe that your child should wait until marriage, say so. Be honest with
your teen about your own decisions regarding sexual activity as a teen,
and whether, in retrospect, you would have behaved differently, and why.
Set high academic
expectations: This will help your child aim high and achieve goals
that will help them build self-esteem and self-confidence, which are both
important in making good decisions about sexuality.
Stay connected: Be
involved in your child's world. Get to know their friends and be genuinely
interested in their activities.
Lutheran Social Service
offers individual, couple, and family counseling at 29 offices statewide.
Many counselors are specially trained in areas of expertise such as
healthy relationships, grief and loss, depression, and child therapy. For
more information, call 1.888.881.8261.
As a non-profit
organization, Lutheran Social Service serves over 100,000 Minnesotans
yearly with services in 300 Minnesota communities, and a professional
staff of 2,400 people. LSS serves all people regardless of race, color,
creed, religion, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, disability or
age. Comprehensive information about statewide services can be found
through the organization's web site at
www.lssmn.org
