Foster family houses, helps
troubled teens:
Couple draws on
woman's own experience living
in foster homes
By Amy Bowen
St. Cloud Times
May 14, 2004
FOLEY - Margaret and Jay Clark
don't like having an empty nest.
When most couples their age
enjoy having the children out of the house,
Margaret Clark, 62, and Jay Clark, 69, received their first foster child
this week after about a year break.
Their kitchen cupboards are
stocked with potato chips, soda and snacks; the
beds are ready to be slept in and there are chores that need to be done.
For about 20 years, the Foley
couple has helped almost 100 children through Benton County human services and then Lutheran Social Service. Medical
problems forced the couple to take a leave from Lutheran Social Service
late last summer.
Part of the couple's passion
stems from Margaret Clark's own experiences in
foster care.
Minnesota has more than 5,000
licensed foster homes, according to the Minnesota Department of Human Services. But that's not enough for the
11,300 children needing care. Lutheran Social Service works with 13 foster
families in Central Minnesota.
Raising children
It's been quiet for too long around the Clark's sprawling home, the couple
said. They will mostly handle at-risk teen-age boys, said Darlene
Wetterstrom, foster-care coordinator for Lutheran Social Service in St.
Cloud. It's a job the Clarks know they can handle.
"I like fixin' things I
guess," Margaret Clark said. "There's a lot of
satisfaction seeing the pouty looks go away. When
they start opening up to you, there's a lot of satisfaction. And we don't win them all."
Children with the Clarks have
rules. The couple's bedroom is off limits, and be prepared to do chores - dusting, washing dishes and vacuuming. They
have school-night curfews of about 9 p.m.
The couple doesn't like to
discipline the children. Instead, they try to make the children talk about their problems. They have heard some horrible
stories during the years.
"Teen-age boys are different
than the whole population," said Margaret Clark, a mother of two children now in their 40s. "You can't put a
16-year-old boy in timeout. It don't do much good."
Even though Margaret and Jay
Clark said they never feel unsafe in their home, there are risks. One boy burnt down the family's barn and Jay Clark
slept in his bedroom's doorway so he could watch the children.
But this quiet couple never
judges the children when they come to stay. Every child is different, they said.
"I never make fun of kids,"
Margaret Clark said. "I accept them no matter
how they dress or how they look. Orange and green hair is the big thing
these days."
Influences
Margaret Clark draws on her own foster-care experiences to help the
children. Born near Grey Eagle, she was placed in two foster homes at ages
12 and 16. One was bad, and the other good, she said. From
that moment,
she knew she wanted to be a foster parent.
The Clarks have influenced the
children, Jay Clark said. The retired farmer once was in a restaurant parking lot when a beautiful 20-something woman
ran up and hugged him. It was one of their first foster children.
Former foster children still
visit or send cards. Some call and even help with the chores at the Clark's home.
"They have a lot of wisdom in
understanding kids," Wetterstrom said. "They
have a lot of experience and they're flexible with a good sense of humor."
Tim Pitschka, Margaret Clark's
great-nephew, lived with the couple on and off for about four years as a teen. Pitschka of Sauk Rapids said he was
out of control and initially didn't get along with his stepfather. The Clarks
eventually became like his parents, he said.
Pitschka would probably be in
jail if it weren't for the Clarks, he said.
"They're a good influence on
kids, and (the children will) thank them later on," Pitschka said. "They always have something to teach you."
Become a foster parent
More foster parents are needed. According to Lutheran Social
Service, there's a need for care for older children, sibling groups and children
from diverse backgrounds. For information, call Lutheran Social Service at
251-7700 or visit the Web site
www.fostercaremn.org.
